Credit to Zoomata.com

Despite America's Crusade to make the world in their image, Italians are resisting:

1. Men Seduce with Dante, not Flexing muscles at Beach
2. Dancing Grannies and Call In Quiz Shows compete with Sexy Girls
3. Preist Beats Pinups for Most Popular Calendar
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(1)    || :::: Italian Men Seduce with Dante at the Beach :::: ||

Italian men on the beach trying to pick up women rely more on the heavyweights of literature than bodybuilding.

According to a magazine survey of over 1,000 Italian men, some 68% of those aged 18- 55 take a book to the beach in hopes of catching the eye of a bathing beauty.
Most have a very clear idea about what sort of literature seduces -- eighty percent of these tome-carrying Romeos rely on the Divine Comedy and the Bible.

"If you're trying to make conversation, there's nothing like a good book," Paolo Bordoni, a 24-year-old student from Genova, told zoomata. "Dante is an easy choice because you don't have you actually read it -- I had to learn whole passages in high school by heart anyway. You just have to look like you're reading it."

Other pickup favorites for Italians who prefer to look as if they're flexing some grey matter instead of muscles are Giacomo Leopardi's poems and Alessandro Manzoni's epic love story "The Betrothed." Although some 27% admitted favoring books instead of the usual crossword puzzle or gossip magazine because it's important to appear 'cultured,' around 20% said the books were also a source of inspiration -- for pickup lines.

Zoomata is the brainchild of a bilingual journalist based in Italy who thinks out of the box. This brain is for hire. Contact: editor@zoomata.com
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(2)      || :::: Italian TV: Dancing Grannies, not Sexy Girls :::: ||

A program featuring high-kicking grannies accidentally flashing their panties was served up as an alternative to the usual sexy 'garnish girls' gracing Italian TV programs."Velone" is low-budget summer TV fare at best: a 20-minute pseudo-talent contest for women over 65 that kicks off with a recycled theme song from last years' version -- a contest for young go-go dancers for popular satirical show "Strip the News."

These senior citizens won't be replacing skimpily-clad dancing girls anytime soon -- they're competing for a 250,000 euro prize that show creator Antonio Ricci calls 'a violent boost to the average pension.' It's certainly compensation for having to twirl around the stage in a public piazza to last year's disco hits while a graphic displays name, age, height and weight to the nation.

Wisecracking host Teo Mammucari, who regularly got the better of sexy young babes, fared worse with the four over-aged 65 contestants.

They stole his lines, interrupted his jokes, ignored his cues -- and the winner of the first episode, 72-year-old Gugliemina Bianchi who improvised a samba in a lacy white getup, grabbed his bum.

The debut on leading commercial channel Canale 5, owned by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's Mediaset company, came shortly after state TV director Lucia Annuziata announced a 'anti-bimbo' decree for the RAI.

So what's the "dignified" alternative to senior shenanigans? Flagship state network RAI uno offers a no-budget random telephone call quiz show that would probably better suit radio, hosted by Sunday variety-show matron Mara Venier.

Not surprisingly, Velone topped "cold phone call" in ratings -- with 21.19% share compared to 17.54% for RAI uno.

At the tail end of "Velone" a bit of pulchritude had to be thrown in for good measure, though, with two 20-something women competing to become "Good Evening Girls" or nearly-extinct announcers. A blonde with a plunging neckline and a brunette with an exposed midriff tripped through announcements about upcoming programs with relative success -- a jury of mostly tabloid journalists gave Miss Bellybutton the thumbs up.

The Italian viewing public is in for a long, hot summer -- both programs are on six nights a week right before prime time until September.
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(3)     || :::: Italian Priest Beats Pinups for Most Popular Calendar  :::: ||

Italians are ringing in the new year with the last calendar penned by undisputed publishing phenomenon Father Mariangelo da Cerqueto -- despite the lack of pulchritude his calendar "Frate Indovino" (Brother Fortuneteller) has been a sell out since 1946. The priest died at the age of 87 in November 2002.

The homespun wisdom of Brother Fortuneteller is rooted in daily weather forecasts--the calendar first gained popularity with farmers in Father Mariangelo's native Perugia in Umbria for the accuracy of predictions made. The secret? The capuchin priest used a manuscript from the 1600s found in monastery archives.

The calendar, which sells between six and eight million copies yearly in Italy and abroad, dispenses pearls of wisdom like: "Since onions produce tears, chop them in moments of political or emotional turmoil" as well as recipes, folklore and proverbs. Sales of the priest's calendar, which retails for about $3 each, top those of dozens topless calendars glutting newsstands each year.

Income from the Frate Indovino publishing house, which includes books and videos, fund the order's missionary works.

Although the 2003 edition is the last one written by Father Mariangelo, the publishing house has plans to carry on with the calendars.

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