Love,
Italian Style
Part 3: 5 Ways to Win Over an Italian Man
Continued from part 2
Our Paesani
by Francesca Di
Meglio
This is the
third in a series of stories called "Love,
Italian Style." Occasionally, as part of this column, I will write
articles to help you understand how Italian beliefs about dating, marriage and
sex influence your life -- even if you live abroad and even as Italian
attitudes about love evolve. At the end of this article, you can find out how
you can help with the research.
As the Italian
national players gave up a beautifully executed one to nil lead against Sweden in the
last 10 minutes of a Euro 2004
game last week, they forced me to ask: Are Italian men weak? Are they too
sensitive? Do they always have trouble finishing the job? But, in a matter of
moments, all doubt was eliminated. Sweaty, dirty, disillusioned - and they
still looked good. With one look, the boys in blue - from Alessandro Nesta to Gianluca Zambrotta - can
send women
into a frenzy. It's not just because they're hot.
It's because they're resilient.
It's like there
is a light bulb inside them that never turns off and helps them shine even in
the darkness. This gift seems to have been bestowed on most
Italian men, which is why so many women readers regularly write to me for
advice on how to find and snag an Italian of their very own. Finally, some
guidelines for wooing the world's most sought after men:
- Challenge him. Italian men live
for the chase. They like to prove themselves to a woman and work for her
love. The trick is to strike the right balance between playing hard to get
and playing a conquerable flirt. Never give up too much of yourself -
maintain your hobbies, your friendships, your dreams. An independent woman
with interests of her own is always more fascinating than a dependent,
needy girly girl.
- Be romantic. "Italian men
are more likely to send poetry than American men (even if it is borrowed
and sent via SMS)," writes ItaliansRus
reader Heidi, whose boyfriend is Italian. Because Italian men go the extra
mile to court you, they always appreciate a romantic gesture. Blow him a
kiss, run a bath for him or send him a sweet text message. He'll love it -
and love you even more.
- Make love lovingly. ItaliansRus
reader asainat, an Italian man himself, writes
that Italian men, generally, want sex soon and often. But with Italian
men, it's always more than just sex. Even during an obvious one-night
stand, an Italian man strives to be memorable and to satisfy his partner,
says every Italian man who has ever spoken on the subject. Word on the
street is that they want to be memorable. One would imagine that, as a
result, a woman who is uninhibited and responsive in bed would be
appreciated. In other words, worry more about stroking his ego than
stroking other things. And always remember to be safe and use a condom.
- Be a hot mamma. We've all heard the
jokes about all those mamma's boys in Italy. Make the stereotype
work in your favor, and take your cues from the most important woman in
his life. "Even though equality within the modern Italian couple is
becoming more and more important, men still look for an Italian woman who
may have similar traits as their mothers and who will in a sense care for
their well being," writes ItaliansRus
reader dancan25. "Men also want passion, sex, love and loyalty from a
woman." Basically, you just need to be kind and caring. Their search
for someone like mamma is not a mere Oedipal
complex, so don't get creeped out. Asainat assures us: "The Italian family remains
the central aspect of every day living and a main objective." Phew!
- Pay attention. If you truly love
someone and want to earn the same in return, you have to figure out how he
needs to be loved and respond to that. If he's a good Italian man,
he'll do the same for you.
How You Can Help with "Love, Italian Style": Are you an
Italian living in Italy?
Do you know an Italian living in Italy? I am looking for Italians in
Italy
to answer questions about the dating and mating rituals of today's Italians.
Everything would be done via email and can be written in either English or
Italian. Please contact me if you are interested in serving on such a panel.
Write me here: fdimeg10@aol.com