Sunday,
November 12, 2006
In
The
ANNOTICO Report
You
are going to Laugh or Cry while you read this. Or Both!! :)
Guardian
Unlimited
Barbara McMahon in
Sunday November 12, 2006
A new poll by
research institute Eures reveals a divorce happens
every four minutes in a country once regarded as a bastion of marriage.
In 2002,
Living in the same house
or nearby, she puts strains on a couple's relationship by meddling in their
affairs, finding fault with her daughter-in-law and treating her grown-up son as a child.
'In
Cassanese points to two types of
extreme Italian mother-in-law. One refuses to give in to ageing and sees her
daughter-in-law as a rival, the other has dedicated
her life to her family and expects payback for life.
Among the wiles
of the latter type of mother-in-law is offering to do chores such as cooking,
ironing and babysitting. 'This can often be the beginning of an invasion, in
which the mother-in-law slowly takes over and undermines the woman in her own
home,' she says. 'What starts out being portrayed as something that is helpful
degenerates into outright intrusion such as going into drawers and pulling out
shirts that are not ironed "her way" or monopolising
the kitchen. Wives feel like strangers in their own homes because the
mother-in-law is always there.'
The fact that
many Italian parents help out their children financially by buying them
apartments or cars can also lead them to expect something in return, adds Dr Cassanese. She said many couples still obey invitations to
eat with their parents three or four times a week.
The concept of mammoni - sons who cling to apron strings - is well known
in
'The husband is
used to being adored and when he doesn't get that unconditional love from his
wife, he goes running back to his mother.' She has counselled
women who complain their husbands phone their mothers
too often, discuss marital difficulties with them and make them feel marginalised. She said struggling Italian couples should
try to seek professional help to get their marriages back on track before the
damage becomes irreversible.
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