Someone Really Coulda Told Me That
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BOLOGNA, Italy - You know you arent
in Bloomington
anymore when you can only find peanut butter at an exotic food store. I have
been in Europe for one week now, and I have
spent the entire time trying to deal with culture shock. For instance, there
is no Comedy Central, and I dont know the intended use of half of my
bathroom fixtures. Also, I have been frantically searching for an apartment.
There has been very little time for arts and entertainment this week, and
more of a focus on survival. I have to say that there are a few things I
really think someone could have mentioned before I left.
To spare you the embarrassment I suffered this week, I want to provide you
with a short guide about why Europe is weird
to Americans. Here is a list of the top five things I wish I had known before
I left the States.
1. Luxury items are inverted. Lets just say I went to buy a tiny bottle
of sunscreen (Sadly, I am nowhere near the Italian peo
ples golden bronze perfection), and it turned
out to be 16 Euros. At the same store, a bottle of champagne was 99 cents.
Resources and cultural values really screw with prices, and you will find
that wine literally is cheaper than water.
2. By American standards, Europeans are nymphos.
Last night, I watched the MTV music video countdown (much more entertaining
when it includes Italian pop music) and was shocked to see a commercial for
wristwatches where the watches were animated and humping. I kid you not. Even if you
dont consider yourself a prude, you would be surprised by the number of
nipples you see on television.
3. You should really learn the slang and how to pronounce it. One of my
friends told several Italians that she was studying international
erections rather than international relations before one was
kind enough to point out her error.
4. You are an idiot. No matter how much you think you know about history,
politics, geography, l iterature or art, the
Europeans know more. Dont make the mistake of
getting into a debate of any kind. Unless you enjoy looking like a boob.
5. You will come to appreciate the size of IUs dorms. The beds in Europe are just as large but the rooms are tiny, even
though the apartments can cost you more than $500 each month. And they all
seem to be owned by crazy old women.
I am close to securing my own tiny place this week, so that should clear up
my schedule to find the local chapel that houses some works by Guido Reni.
But in the meantime, anyone know of an IKEA around
here to furnish my dollhouse?
http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.aspx?id=44234
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